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A Story About Purpose and the Meaning of Life



True Story.


Once upon a time, as I was standing in the Arizona Desert by myself on the top of a small mountain simultaneously looking inward, out into the vast open sky above a saguaro cactus peppered landscape and into the invisible layer of reality overlying this visible one, I sent out a sincere question from my heart:


"What the heck am I doing here, in this place?"


Have you ever asked a question like that?





I really wanted to know.


It was a genuine question that begged for a deeper answer, one that spoke to my Soul and my Spirit. One that took me beyond:

 

"get a good job", ✔️

"help people", ✔️

"be a good person",  ✔️

"go to church", ✔️

"create a loving marriage", ✔️

"raise a family" ❌ We had been trying to get pregnant without success. 


These were all answers the world easily offered, I pursued, and was successful...the last one, my success was making my own peace with that unfulfilled "norm" understanding I had a different path, though I wasn't sure what it was yet. 


Fast forward: 

Turns out raising biological children was never in the cards from the moment I decided Dan was the one I was going to marry....a realization I knew 2 weeks after we started dating. Once we found out why, years after this story took place, someone literally told me (someone who had raised 4 kids and meant well), "life has no meaning without kids, you should adopt". We didn't because my heart didn't want that. I wanted something I made, that came from me....I think that's part of the urge of motherhood, for me at least it was. Anyway, I know there are women out there who can relate....for me, having children wasn't the answer either.


Rewind:

So, there I was on that mountain in the Arizona desert sending out the question from my heart to the vast open space in front of me. I don't remember if I really expected an answer at the time. I think not, as I had asked that question multiple times before and always received the same unsatisfying answer; "Anchor the Light."


"Yea, yea." I would say. "Very newagey of you," I would say to myself, to the voice in my head. "Look around you. Newagey yogi people aren't deeply fulfilled either, though they are better at pretending to be." That was the place I was in at the time.


That day on the mountain would be different. 





It was 2010 and I was at a yoga teacher training retreat learning esoteric, subtle body yoga teachings in the lineage of the ancient Tibetan yoga texts - that lit up something in my Soul, THAT was why I was at this specific yoga teacher training, taking time off my hard won job as a board certified veterinary oncologist, acupuncturist and herbalist that I had just recently achieved. Those teachings on the inner workings of reality both challenged me and deeply interested me, and they woke something up inside of me that had been sleeping. I was also meditating, doing yoga and learning how to teach yoga asana classes. But it was the subtle body yoga, the ancient teachings about how energy moves inside us and creates the world around us, that had captured my attention and my heart. It was in that I felt there was some key to what I was missing about this whole game we were all running around inside of desperately trying to mold to our desires and create a life we wanted to be living and a life connected to something bigger than our small little selves.


That day on the mountain I would receive the answer differently. It isn't that the answer was actually different. But it arrived with a different depth and an even more seemingly impossible challenge. 


Me: "What am I doing here? What, actually, am I doing here in this place?" (What I meant was: Why am I here? In this place that feels so foreign. On this place called Earth.)


The answer came like this, in a strong, clear, loving and confident voice as if from someone who knew the answer and it was, of course, obvious.


"To anchor the Light. And to fall in love with the world."





I sat and swallowed that deep inside of me as I simultaneously thought, "I have no idea what that means!" Although I had a sense. And that sense was that it meant falling in love with all the people in the world.


Seeing the world as I saw it then, as I had experienced it, that seemed very impossible. The chasm between where I was then and falling in love with the world seemed.....well....impossible to cross. And, for the person I was then, it was.


But I was done with that. I wanted something more. I wanted to understand. 


That day was a pivot point in my life. 





It wasn't that things magically got better. 

They did, in many ways, magically get worse! lol! 


It was, however, the time that started a new journey of personal alchemy that brought me experiences I could not have imagined. 


And those experiences were the catalyst for the life I have created now. One in which I have a deeper lived understanding of what that answer on the mountain meant and how it is possible. I have tasted it, that Love, and am living it in a way that wasn't available to me back then. I am still growing into that....or maybe you could say still living out that journey of Self-discovery....of what is possible. 


And now, as part of that Soul Path, Divine PowerHouse was born. I spend a good amount of energy, time, money and attention dedicated to helping others who are ready to make something new in their life connect with the energy, capacity and methods that can help them make that happen in a very real way. 


That gives their daily efforts a new power and potency. 

That helps them live as the Divine PowerHouse they are. 

To gain a new understanding of what that means. 


To anchor the Light in their life. 


To fall in love with their potential and everything this experience here offers us on this journey of Self-discovery and Self-mastery. 


To love their life. 

To have hope. 

To be empowered to help others who want that too.  

 

It might seem strange to a lot of the world, but that doesn't bother me. I have direct experience that it has helped me live in the world with MORE success, MORE peace, MORE real joy than I had before. 





I played the game of the world, followed its rules and did extremely well. I did all the "right things", followed all the rules of religion, school, job, relationships. It brought me worldly success. But there is more than JUST worldly success that is important for us to thrive here and to live our purpose. I had to question deeper. To allow my Soul and Spirit to have a voice, to ask questions and to have their longings fulfilled too.


We CAN have it all! And we have to work for it! Otherwise what is rewarding about that? What do we learn about ourselves and what we are capable of creating? Without doing, we are not using the opportunity this life presents us. 




I went through my own crucible. It wasn't easy. But it was worth it!


One thing I have learned? It doesn't have to be unpleasant or unjoyful. It can be. It often is. We make it unpleasant and unjoyful by the way we engage the process, because we haven't learned how to ride the wave, and we cling to the lead weights that anchor us to our past. That is all part of the journey too! It is one way we learn. 


It should be joy! We just have to decide to choose something different, to welcome change! And then we have to DO it....and step over every obstacle that challenges us to doubt, to give up, to be "ordinary", to be "normal." 


Who really wants to be ordinary anyway? 

Deep inside we all want to be extra-ordinary. 


What do I do for those who want to work with me and learn what I have learned, experience what I have experienced that helped me understand the answers to my internal plea, "What am I doing here in this place?!"





I study the Mystery that is me, in the ancient tradition of the Mystery Schools that have existed for thousands of years to help us humans discover the answers for ourselves, to think for ourselves, to break out of our limiting beliefs and be extra-ordinary, to live extra-ordinary lives. 


And I hold that door open for others who want to do the same.


I open the Path of Initiation into the Mysteries.


I provide healing sessions, spiritual activations, authentic Mystery School initiation according to the ancient tradition and spiritual classes that share the Mysteries in order to help others elevate their frequency and their life.


And there has been nothing I have ever done that has brought me as much joy.


Divine PowerHouse exists for those who want to take a step down that Path of Initiation for themselves, to put it to the test in their own life to see what is possible for them. It is for those who ask me to facilitate those first steps for them and support them as they go through their own adventure ❤️


In the end, only you can live your life. And your life is uniquely yours. We are here to live life fully, to experience life fully, to live awake every day. That doesn't, for most of us, happen overnight. It is a process, a journey of learning and Mastery. It is a journey all the Masters walked. It is a journey of initiation into the Mystery of YOU! The Mystery of US!


STEP 1: choose something new, decide


STEP 2: take the first step: Life Activation - a single healing session that requires no commitment


STEP 3: Empower Thyself Initiation - a weekend training and initiation that gives you the ancient rituals and tools of power to anchor more Light into your Life every day, by using what you learn. Your obligation? To yourself and your own healing.


I offer Empower Thyself events throughout the year. June 8-9 is the next Empower Thyself weekend. Future dates can be found on the events calendar.


You decide what to do from there.

This is your adventure after all!


You will grow and learn no matter what you choose. 

That is the nature of our experience here.

The choices we make determine how we do that growing and how quickly we move through our lessons.


There are many paths you can walk on the journey that is your life. There is no requirement. There are many choices. This is a real life "choose your own adventure". I invite you to embark on that journey in a way that calls to you. And I invite you to allow others to do the same. We are all in this together. And we are all discovering what works for us and what doesn't. 


Find something that works for you that is aligned with Goodness, Love, Compassion and that empowers you to do this human thing we are doing better than you are doing it now! 


Find something that unleashes your passion, love and joy.


And then use that to make your best life! ❤️


If you would like my guidance and support, I am happy to help you if what I have to offer is what you are seeking. Lets have a chat.



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